SENSEI JONATHAN WANG
Konnichiwa, wanderer. Welcome to the Dill Dojo.
The Dill Dojo is my pickle review site. As you may have noticed, I put the Japanese word for "teacher" in front of my name to give myself legitimacy. But there are many more reasons to trust me.
I have been eating pickles since I was born. In addition to 25 years of experience (because I am 25 years old), I have refined my palate by eating foods from all over the world, including but not limited to: Olive Garden (authentic Italian), Taco Bell (authentic Mexican), Panda Express (authentic Chinese) and KFC (authentic soul food).
I have developed a proprietary pickle flavor profile which I use to rank the pickles on the site. I'm not saying that my method is the correct or only approach. I am just heavily implying it.
I also have high blood pressure. My doctor says that my diet has "too much sodium" and that I'm at "increased risk" of "heart disease" and "stroke." The stakes have never been higher -- I'm putting my own body on the line to bring you the best in pickle reviews. Any amount of stress could push me over the edge, so please keep your comments in the realm of positive feedback.
So whenever I see a jar of pickles I haven't tried yet, I'll pick it up and review it. I hope you relish the work I have put in.